“Time And Memories”. Photography by Michelle Buchheit-Schill

“And time is a curious thing. Most of us only live for the time that lies right ahead of us. A few days, weeks, years. One of the most painful moments in a person’s life probably comes with the insight that an age has been reached when there is more to look back on than ahead. And when time no longer lies ahead of one, other things have to be lived for. Memories, perhaps. Afternoons in the sun with someone’s hand clutched in one’s own. The fragrance of flowerbeds in fresh bloom. Sundays in a cafe. Grandchildren, perhaps. One finds a way of living for the sake of someone else’s future. And it wasn’t as if Ove also died when Sonja left him. He just stopped living.

Grief is a strange thing.” – Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

The concept of time is very curious, indeed. The real issue is that there really is no time. Time is a construct of the human mind in order to organize and schedule. The truth of the matter is that you need to understand that time is very important while in the Physical Realm.

Time is very linear in this Realm, therefore, it runs out. The fact that we continue to exist after death and that time is not real, does not matter to those who are in the Physical Realm. The only thing that matters is they feel as if these two things are not true. You, there fore, must use time wisely. We must understand that not everyone has planned to be here for seventy-five to 100 years. The fact that we come into this life with amnesia means that most people do not know when they or their loved ones will be exiting. Therefore, every minute in the Physical Realm is very precious.

Not only do you need to be more appreciative of your loved ones but you must also be appreciative of yourselves. This is a very important thing to remember. The need for being appreciative of self should come before appreciating others. You cannot appreciate others if you do not appreciate yourself. Appreciating others does not mean mistreating yourself or having to put up with abusive behavior. Appreciating your loved ones means being present with them when you are together. Do your best to savour each and every moment you have with them. Do not let one moment pass without great care and effort.

We must be very careful with the way we handle ourselves and others. We must be very good with our emotions and be honest about them. This is very difficult but is very important for a happy life and good relationships. This is the way you savour your relationships.

You need to be very careful with how you view yourself and your life. The important thing is gratitude. The best thing is for you to appreciate what you do have and do not focus on what you do not have. Be unconcerned with others and their lives and only concern yourself with yourself. This is how you appreciate your life. Thinking about the next day or the next week is unproductive and you miss out on the present moment. You need to understand that this moment serves a certain purpose for your life and the lives of others. Remember to always be present in this moment now. Going back to the past or into the future serves no purpose for this moment now.

The past can have both beautiful and painful memories. The beautiful ones are there to enjoy when you are reminiscing. The painful ones are there as lessons but not to be revisited constantly nor lived in. This is all that matters: here and now.

You need to appreciate what you have now and the life that is your now. It may not be what you consider the best compared to what others have but it is the best for you at this moment. Do not compare your life with others lives. They have different reasons for being here than you do. The fact is that your worth is not based on financial status, material goods, or the family that you were born into. The important thing is what you need to be doing here and now.

The problem with the moment is that it may not be what you want. This is true at many points for everyone. Although this is very understandable you must be present in that moment. Even what you do not want serves a purpose. The most painful moment of your life serves a purpose but it is up to you what you do with it.

You must understand that not everything on this planet is pleasant. There is good reason for this and you must appreciate the good with the bad. The problem  comes when you have a major tragedy. Then presence is not helpful and shock must take over. This a normal response to a horrible situation and it is best to let the shock run its course. Afterward, being the moment is again important.

You must learn to grow and expand from both the good and the bad. – John