Heart Chakra
“Heart Chakra” Art by Michelle Buchheit-Schill

My mom has just returned from the food pantry where she overheard part of a conversation which she felt was sad. The part my mom heard was that these two women do for others so that they can sleep at night. My mom was thinking it was sad because they do not realize that it is not their conscience speaking but the brainwashing of society speaking. Doing for others all the time with the motivation to appease your “conscience” is not helpful to yourself.

I was able to hear the entire conversation and it was very good because the point was that these two women felt that people no longer cared about others. This really is not true! People care about others as much as they always have. The difference is that they are now realizing that they must care for themselves first. We must understand that this is not being selfish! It is being wise! The thing to remember is that if it does not feel real right then you should not being doing it.

This change in priorities makes it appear to those who are still stuck in the old paradigm that people are being selfish. The truth is actually the opposite, however. People are realizing they need to care for self first in order to care for others.

My entire family is of the mindset that you must do for others and put yourself last. This attitude has made my family very dysfunctional and very unhappy. They believe self-sacrifice is a virtue and will bring happiness. I have never seen anyone in my family truly happy. They are actually very angry people!

The thing that people are learning these days is that it is perfectly OK to care for yourself and take care of your emotional, physical and Spiritual health before you take care of others. If you are not well then you cannot help others in the best possible manner. You are doing this not out of love but in order to appease the mass consciousness. This is not the way it should work because if it is not done out of love it is ineffective.

Love is a very strong energy; therefore, anything done out of love is very powerful and has very strong healing energetic force. When we do things out of guilt we are not helping others but spreading a negative energy that is not helpful.

People must learn that taking care of themselves is not selfish! It is actually contributing to the health of the entire planet! The health of others spread energetically on a global scale throughout every living being. When you neglect yourself you become very negative and this spreads. Energy has no boundaries and spreads very quickly. You must realize that what you think, feel, say and do effects the entire Universe.

When you feel that you are being asked to help another, you must take into consideration if it is the correct job for you. The problem is that people say yes automatically in order to be able to “live with themselves”. This is very counter productive.  The problem is that you cannot live with yourself afterward because you self-sacrificed for something that was not yours to do. This will cause you to be angry whether you realize it or not. When something is for you to do, your Higher Self will let you know. If you receive a sign that it is not for you to do, then you must decline. It is a job for someone else and that is perfectly fine.

People need to stop worrying what others will think of them. You may appear to be selfish in the eyes of others, but so what? That is their problem and not yours! You cannot do everything! There are certain tasks for certain people. The problem is that people feel that they must say yes to everything even it if is not their task so that they can live with themselves and others will think well of them. This does nothing but cause resentment.  This is the way it is supposed to work.

The truth of the matter is that you can say no without guilt. The thing is to be in tune with your Higher Self so that you know what is your job and what is not. The first step to self care is to say “no” when it is not your job! – John