I have always been an introvert. This is a natural characteristic for me. I do not like crowds nor do I like noise. Since having to deal with ME/CFS, this has been more acute.
I have been told my Higher Self is also very quiet and likes alone time in the Spirit Realm. As I am here, she is perceived as being a bit aloof there. This is something she has been working on over the last few incarnations.
She does appear to be succeeding, I must say. If you knew me thirty or forty years ago, you would be amazed at the difference. I barely said two words in a week as a child. In high school, I would not be surprised to find that I was the quietest and most reserved student in my school. This did make it easier to get away with things such as cutting classes. These days, I am much more sociable. To the point that I can not even go into a store without conversing with the cashier. Living in a rural area does help with this, however. Going into a local store frequently causes them to know you after only a couple of visits.
I live alone…just me and my dog. Or, I should say, it would appear so to the naked physical eye. This is not so, however. My house is very crowded with those in the Spirit Realm. You would be shocked to learn how many Spirits are surrounding you at any given moment.
The fact that I have been suffering from a chronic illness, which reached a peak in 2016, and I have not had a car in three years, causes me to spend a lot of time cooped up in my home alone…with my Spirit friends and family…and my dog.
As a child, I enjoyed Spirit communication. It was all fun and games, literally. I had a Spirit friend named Melissa who I used to play dolls with and we would set up classroom scenarios for my dolls and stuffed animals. My uncle was also my playmate. I had a good time and always enjoyed Spirit communication back then. That was until religion taught me that I was a horrible sinner due to my abilities and would go straight to hell if I did not stop and become someone else.
As a middle aged woman, who has been to hell and back, things are different. It is not so much fun and games any more; however, being stuck home alone, Spirits are pretty much all I have. My problem is that I need a break for a bit. I need some peace and quiet around here.
This past week, I was told by someone who has been in my shoes, that I need to find a balance between the Physical Realm and the Spirit Realm. This makes a lot of sense and I am working on this. My biggest problem is that I have never really liked the Physical Realm and prefer the Spiritual.
To maintain my sanity, I am doing my best to try to enjoy the Physical Realm. I am blessed enough to have a good friend who lives close by. She will let me borrow her truck from time to time. Yesterday evening she texted me to say she had fresh food from her farm that she was dropping off for me. She wanted to know if I felt up to bringing her back home so I could have the truck for a few a days. Thankfully, I will be able to out of the house for the next few days. Even better, she brought me asparagus, strawberries, eggs and maple syrup (the real stuff, not the crap from the grocery store).
I have no idea how to be more sociable because I am not one who considers acquaintances as being friends. I have two friends, who I consider more as sisters than friends. The one I mentioned above, has been in my life for 15 years. My other friend has been in my life for 43 years and, unfortunately, lives in North Carolina while I am in Ohio.
A couple of weeks ago, when I had the truck last, I went to a high tea at the local library. I really enjoyed this and met many lovely woman. None of these woman are people who are to be in life but this is the extent I can handle socializing at this moment.
I have been very absorbed in starting up my new business and trying to get used to more energy and better health.
I believe part of my problem is that I have not meditated in many months. I used to love meditating but I got to the point where I considered it something I had to do and stopped enjoying it. My meditations gradually declined until I was not meditating at all. Now I am afraid to meditate because it has a tendency to make me even more open to Spirit.
Anyway, it may be a bit before I have anymore Spiritual excitement to report. In fact, I think it has been awhile already. I think I have been gradually shutting down after a traumatic event that occurred on my birthday (November 3). I had been having fun with my blog and got just a little too close to two other bloggers. One was an older person who I admired and the other was a young person who I thought very nice. I have always been one to give people the benefit of the doubt but I have been learning my lesson on this lately and not doing that anymore.
My birthday was actually very nice on the whole. My ex-husband and I went out for a nice birthday dinner. Unfortunately, it was just the two of us because our son, as usual, was out of town. I was in a very good mood when I returned home. As I was lying in bed that night, I was reading blog posts and discovered the deception of these two people. I was quite upset about it for a few weeks but I got over it and rarely give it much thought now. The problem seems to be that since this event, my interaction with Spirit has not been enjoyable. This includes with my children, particularly John.
I am hoping that taking a little break will help me get back to myself and I can enjoy who and what I am once more. – Michelle