Spirit Art by Michelle and Tina Schill.

I mentioned yesterday that my abilities have escalated quite a bit lately, nearly to the point that they were as a child. It often is at the point where being able to tell what is from the Physical Realm and what is from the Spiritual Realm difficult at times.

I was meditating on this last night and I realized that the first couple of years after John crossed over the going was very slow at trying to get my abilities back. I know that most of this had to do with my severe grief. When our grief is very deep, we have a very difficult time receiving signs and communications from loved ones or any Spirit.

This is due to the fact that when we are in that much emotional pain our vibrational frequency drops very low. Since Spirits’ frequencies are so much higher than those of us who are in the Physical Realm, it breaks the communication line. When we communicate with Spirit, we must raise our frequency and Spirit lowers theirs, thus meeting half way. When we are in a very low frequency, Spirit cannot lower theirs enough to get through to us.

Although I will grieve for the rest of my life, my grief is much different now. It has changed shape, depth and form. Although I still cry and get teary eyed, I have begun to get used to my new life. Now, instead of staring out of the kitchen window or the back door watching for John to pull in the drive, while knowing full well that will never happen again, I simply raise my frequency enough for us to communicate. Also I have used my grief to help others and I keep busy with that and my Etsy shops, which I take more seriously than any job I have ever had in my life.

I have also spoken quite a bit about my struggles with mental illness through out my life. Many years ago I decided that I would not live my entire life like that, as the doctor said I would. I began to really work on my emotional and mental health back in 2010. The problem was that I did not know what being present or being in the moment was.

When I began to work on my grief, I began to study concepts such as these. I found them very difficult to grasp and would often become frustrated. It was a very conscious effort for me to remain in the present moment and I would find it exhausting at times. I did not give up, however, and through meditation and making efforts at mindfulness in my daily life, I forged ahead.

I realized last night that the reason my abilities have sped up recently is due to the fact that being in the moment is a habit for me now. I no longer need to think about it. It merely seems to happen. Sometimes John will tease me and try to trip me up by saying, “mom, you need to be in the moment.” I have caught onto his tricks now and will say something like “yeah, right, John Patrick” in a very sarcastic tone.

I always knew that mindfulness and meditation strengthened psychic abilities but I never knew how they did. It was always a mystery to me and if someone had asked, I would not have been able to explain how it works.

I realized that when I was in the moment, I was very relaxed and very happy. There is a peace and a calm I feel even when in a stressful moment. This indicates that my vibrational frequency is high which means that Spirit can lower their frequencies enough to get through to me.

My problem is that, although I have an inkling how meditation helps your mind stay in the moment, I am not totally clear on it. I can only base it on my experience. Although I do not believe that one can totally clear their mind, I believe you can have moments during meditation where it almost appears that you are not having thoughts. I noticed that when I had these moments I was very calm, relaxed and very much at peace. Although they did not last long, I decided to make a game of it. Every time I had one of these moments I would do my best to try to make it last as long as possible. I would also try to get myself into these moments as often as possible during meditation. I also learned not to become angry with myself when I got out of the moment or had a meditation where I just could not clear my mind.

When I realized that being in the moment had become a habit I also began to realize that meditation was training my mind to remain in the moment. This was a very long process but I eventually got there. Even after everything I have been through, including my son taking his own life, I have never been happier and more self-confident in my life as I am now. – Michelle