Who am I? I believe this is a question we ask ourselves at least a few times throughout our lives. I know I have been asking this myself my entire life. I mean beyond my titles of daughter, wife, ex-wife, mother. Who am I really? Down deep, beneath my exterior shell of my physical human body, beneath what society expects me to be. What is my true self? My authentic essence?

My life has been a constant struggle to figure this out. I tried very hard to be who others expected me to be only to find myself living a life of depression, mental illness, eating disorder and self mutilation. This affected my sons and my marriage. It was not until my oldest son took his own life that I seriously began to take a look at the true me and begin a journey to find her. This blog is about that journey.

My blog is two-fold, or has two sections. There are blog posts that I write about my life, my mental illness, my Spiritual journey and how I have used Spirituality to heal my Soul, my mental illness and my grief. Conventional medicine and therapy did not work in healing my mental illness and I will discuss what I did to improve my life in the hopes that it may help one other person out in the world. If conventional methods did not work for me, yet work for some, then maybe there is also someone else like me who this information may also work for.

I also discuss my psychic abilities which I was born with. I speak about what life was like being a child who “sees dead people” and the fear instilled in me by religion which caused me to shut down my abilities for several years. I also discuss how, what and why I finally chose to return to my true self and reactivate my abilities. In my first several blog posts I wrote my life’s story. I was brutally honest and transparent. I wrote as much detail as I could recall at the time of my writing; however, I am sure that I will discuss what I have forgotten as they pertain to different topics I will be discussing.

The second part of my blog is channeled writings from son, John, who took his life at the age of 26 years old. He gives his perspective as they are now from the Afterlife. He will teach on different Spiritual practices and how to improve upon yourself so that you may have the best and fullest life possible.

There will be times that we will have guest bloggers, be they in Physical or Spiritual form. They will bring their words of wisdom from their experiences in this life and/or the Afterlife.

It is both mine and my son’s hope that this blog will bless others and help them to come to know the healing, hope and joy I have found even after experiencing a mother’s worst tragedy. – Michelle