The West Woods, Novelty, Ohio, USA. Photo by Michelle and Ricky Schill

I have never been one of those people who was into making New Year’s resolutions but as New Year’s Day 2015 drew nearer I knew I had to do something to help myself or I would never survive my maternal grief. The thought of returning to medications, masses of doctors and frequent hospital stays was not appealing to me. Although these methods work for some people, they did not work well for me in the past and I needed to figure out what would work for me as an individual before things became worse.

Through my studies of Spirituality over the past several months, I heard much about the benefits of meditation and yoga. I began to do research on both subjects and was drawn to both of them.

I must be honest and tell you that my main motivation for trying meditation really was not for Spiritual growth nor well being. I read that meditating enhances your psychic abilities thereby making it easier to contact loved ones who have crossed over. Of course, as a grieving mother, this really caught my attention. Although I was born with these abilities, I had turned them off for many years and was very rusty so meditation sounded like something I should try.

As I said, I began by doing research and discovered that there were many methods to meditation. Although I came across one video that insisted it must be done this particular way and you must reach this certain meditative state, it was the only piece of information I came across with such strict guidelines and immediately disregarded it. Meditation is anything that changes your meditative state. For someone such as myself, it could be sketching, sewing or crocheting. For a musician it could be playing an instrument. My husband and son are perfect examples of this. I can tell by the expressions on their faces that they are actually “somewhere else”. Whenever you are doing something that changes perception of time, such as your favorite activity in which time flies, is an indication that your meditative state has altered. I did not know that I had actually been meditating all my life but soon discovered that I needed a deeper meditative state.

I began to try out the various methods of meditation to see what fit me best. I first began with mindfulness: sitting quietly and attempting to slow my thoughts. Afterwards I tried meditating to relaxing music and then I tried binaural beats with music and without. My needs for meditation seem to fluctuate with time; therefore, I will go through a period of time doing one type of meditation and then a few months later require something else, although I begin every morning with twenty minutes of mindfulness meditation and fifteen minutes of chakra clearing and balancing.

In the beginning I could not meditate for very long and had trouble slowing down my thoughts. I was persistent, however. I was only meditating for approximately five minutes per day but gradually worked my way up. Although I could not meditate for long or calm my thoughts well, I began to notice the results immediately and they were not just with improving my psychic abilities. I began to feel a bit more calm and not as depressed as I used to be. After only a couple of months my friend, Susan, wanted to know what gives. She and her husband, who is a psychologist, helped me through many difficult times with my mental illness and were probably expecting me to return to my frequent hospital visits after John crossed over. I surprised them and she wanted to know how I was managing this. I told her that I believed it was the meditating that I had recently started.

I tell everyone that meditation has changed my life. My thoughts used to be as a tangled mess of yarn. I could not organize them nor sort through them and I had trouble thinking and expressing myself. These days my thoughts are much slower and organized and I am much better with self-expression. My ability to meditate has increased and I do this at least twice per day, which equals about two hours or more. It has become very enjoyable to me and I look forward to it.

I found some yoga videos on YouTube and gave them a try. My favorite ended up being “Yoga With Adrienne”. She has videos for all levels and all health conditions. I love her attitude that “no pain, no gain” does not exist with yoga. If it is not comfortable for you then adjust the position or do not do it at all.

I soon found that when I did yoga I had a very calm, clear, centered and grounded feeling. Also, my joints and muscles felt stretched and limber. My only problem with yoga is that since I have ME/CFS I cannot do it as often as I wish. My health seems to slowly be improving these days and I am looking forward to “Yoga With Adrienne” again very soon.

After being surprised that meditation and yoga helped me holistically, I began to notice that my psychic abilities were becoming sharper and more honed as time went by. I was returning to what I once was as a child. I was beginning to see the beauty of the other dimensions again: energy, colors, flashes of light, orbs. Sometimes I would get a quick glimpse of John as he was in the Physical Realm or quickly hear his voice for a brief moment. I then began to notice these incidents with other Spirits as well, such my father, uncle, grandparents and my two middle children, Tina and Ricky.

These two New Year’s resolution made such a huge difference in my life. I still struggled with grief and depression but it was more manageable and becoming less frequent as time went by. In the future I will do blog posts about how meditation and yoga improve your holistic health.

2015 was another year of changes for me. This time it was not the loss of one of the closest people to me, but personal changes. My outlook and attitude about myself and the world began to change. People tell me I am a different person now. I am not a different person now. I was a different person then. This is the real me, the authentic me. – Michelle